Waiting
by Glistening Sun
Summary: 'Andy suffers an injury while pursuing a suspect that will become more and more serious as the season goes on. As a result, things get much more serious on the relationship front as well.' This is my take on that particular spoiler - told through a series of drabbles. It's a bit of an experiment, so do let me know what you think!
1. No More Waiting

"Andy," I whisper and break our kiss to look up into his eyes. The way he looks at me, so full of love, his eyes dark and intense, it always makes me sway a little. I smile and take his face into my hands and his eyes sparkle. I know he loves when I do that and I hear him groan.

"One of those days you'll drive me insane, Sharon O'Dwyer," he grumbles and closes his eyes. His lips are wet and still slightly parted and I snatch another quick kiss. I'm rewarded by his arms tightening around my waist.

"I was thinking," I start and I can feel the blush creeping up my cheeks, "I was thinking I could do something about that … maybe this weekend, at your place?"

Oh gosh! I have never propositioned a man before. I'm closer to sixty than I'd like to admit and here I am standing in the semi-darkness of my balcony and I can hear Andy take a deep breath.

"Sharon," he says and his voice is hoarse and sounds a little unsure, his eyes open now. I nod and feel like covering the redness in my cheeks with my hands.

"This weekend," I whisper and push myself up on my toes, "I don't want to wait anymore."


	2. The Call

The call comes in on a day like any other. Well, not quite a day like any other because it's a Friday and I've been dreaming about the coming weekend all day. Andy has been so patient with me and I'm … gosh, I feel a little like a teenager who knows her 'first time' is going to happen soon. We don't have parents to hide from, but we've arranged to spend the weekend, the _entire_ weekend nights included at Andy's place, because I can't bear the idea of Rusty just across the hall.

My phone rings, Lieutenant Provenza. It's routine. He's reporting back from the field. A call came in earlier and I sent out the team. While I'm swiping my finger over the display I'm trying to image Andy's reaction the purple lingerie set I bought just for this occasion.

"Captain."

I can hear something is wrong right away.

"It's Andy, Sharon. He's been hurt. Lieutenant Cooper is waiting for you downstairs to drive you to Cedar's."

Lieutenant Cooper? I can drive myself to the hospital. Why would I need someone from SIS, never mind their Senior Lieutenant?

"Andy asked for you. It's … it looked serious, Sharon. You should hurry."


	3. Lights and Sirens

Lieutenant Cooper doesn't know any more than I do, but he switches on lights and sirens and puts his foot down and I want to protest, but my hands are shaking and I'm afraid my voice would be, too.

Andy. Hurt. He fell from a moving vehicle, Lieutenant Provenza told me. He asked for me, he said. Hurry. Sharon. He called me Sharon. Hurry, it looks serious.

Los Angeles is flashing by my window. We're flying through one part of this sprawling city, then another and they blend into each other. My jaw is tense and my teeth hurt from the way I'm clenching them together. A moment ago I was thinking about our weekend and now I need to call Nicole. I need to tell her what happened.

My phone rings again startling me out of my thoughts and I take an unsteady breath. Not more bad news?

"They wanted to wait until you got here, Sharon, but they're rushing him into CT now. He wants to talk to you."

And then I hear Andy's voice and my hands are shaking so badly I can barely hold the phone.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you, too," I respond without a second thought.

It's the first time we've ever told each other and I can't even see his face. I can't hold him and look into his eyes. I want to tell him more, to hold on and that I'll be there soon. Suddenly there's a commotion on the other end of the line, orders are being given, and rapid steps and Andy is groaning in pain until I hear my second in command's voice. "I'm sorry, Sharon, they need to examine him. I'll meet you at the entrance."

And then the car stops and Lieutenant Cooper hands me a tissue, watches me as I put myself back together. I'm not just Sharon, I'm also the Captain of a squad who had just had one of them injured. I need to be there for my team.


	4. Vigil

I'm sitting at Andy's bedside holding his hand firmly in mine as the doctor explains Andy's injuries and the prognosis. Andy was lucky, that's what I get, that's the part I'm trying to hold onto. Because if I let myself understand the rest, the full extend of what happened and how close Andy came to a permanent and debilitating injury, how close I came to loosing him, it's going overwhelm me and I'm going to break down here and I can't do that because I want to be strong for him. He needs me to be strong for him.

I spent the night at Andy's bedside. I can hear him groaning in pain throughout. He is so concerned for his sobriety that he's turned down anything but the most basic pain relief and all I can do is wipe the sweat from his forehead and press my lips to his mindful of the cuts and scrapes and bruises. He dreams and he calls for me and I feel numb, I want to stay numb because I cannot break down, I need to stay strong for him.


	5. Home

We're home at last. Well, I am home and Andy is with me, my home has become his home or at least it will be for the next several weeks. He has trouble walking, lifting his arms, using his hands. I know he hates being dependent on others and I know it's hard for him to accept help, but I want to be there for him, I need to be there for him. We're making our way to my bedroom together, small steps as he leans heavily on me, this man who I've always considered a tower of strength. And then we stand there side by side and look at my bed.

"Sharon," he whispers, "Are you sure about this?"

"I am." I step forward to move away the comforter, "I sleep on the left side. Would … would the right one be okay for you? It's closer to the bathroom." And in his state, walking the extra yards is going to be difficult.

"Of course," Andy says, smiling despite the pain he is obviously in. He sits down on the bed and I help him bring up his legs and try to meet his eyes, but he looks away, embarrassed.

"Thank you," he says when I take off his shoes.

I lean down to press a chaste kiss against the side of his mouth, lingering when I noticed that he is struggling to lift his hand. There is so much I want to say, mostly that I love him and that I am so grateful he wasn't injured more severely, that I am the one to blame for this. After several attempts he finally manages to stroke my cheek with a trembling hand and I feel like crying. Oh my God, why did I send him out into the field that morning?

He is asleep within minutes and I sit at his side for hours before I finally get changed and slip under the covers. Our first night in one bed. So different from how I imagined it. I barely dare touch him, but I keep watch until my eyes fall close.


	6. Domesticity

Andy has bruised his spinal cord, the doctor told us. In layman's terms, he said, so we would understand. It's an injury that will heal with time, but requires rest. No heavy lifting, no strenuous exercise, but patience and physiotherapy instead. No exercise. That means no sex, the young doctor said in no uncertain terms and I barely dared to meet Andy eyes. First I had made him wait and wait and now?

For a couple who only days ago was looking forward to finally consummating their relationship we're leading a very chaste life. We lie on my bed side by side, we kiss and cuddle and it's wonderful. It is. I do enjoy the closeness and there are moments when I forget about Andy's injury and the limitations it brings, moments when this domestic life we have settled into seems bright and happy. Having him here to laugh together and share all the little bits life has to offer is not something I expected to be doing so soon, but it's working for us.

We sleep next to each other like brother and sister. Once Andy feels better we hold hands. Sometimes at night I find that my body has drifted closer to his, seeking out his warmth. Then comes the morning when I wake up pressed against his chest, his fingers playing with my hair, his lips on my forehead.

"Andy," I mumble and tilt my head so I can look at him. He is wide awake and smiling back at me.

"Good morning my love," he rumbles and kisses the tip of my nose. It's a small gesture, but it does something to me and I can feel how all the defences I've set up are breaking down. "You know how many years I've dreamt of waking up with you in my arms, sweetheart?"

And then the tears come and I break down sobbing noisily until Rusty knocks on the door, his voice tentative, inquiring if he can do something and it only makes me want to cry more.


	7. Struggling

Andy is struggling with his injuries, he is struggling with having to stay home, he is struggling with being dependent on me. We both know how lucky he was and how easily he could aggravate his back if he doesn't rest properly. But knowledge doesn't always translate into patience – and it certainly doesn't with Andy.

I took care of Jack when he was drunk and hung over, but this is different. Andy is in pain through none of his own fault and seeing how he struggles to get up, struggles to knot his tie which he insists on wearing even if he is staying home, it's painful. It's my natural instinct to reach out and help him. How do I do that and respect his wish for independence?

Initially, I spent some time with Patrice. She explained to me how to help him get up and move around, how to help him wash and get dressed. We do have a nursing service that comes in and does the bulk of the work. Andy hates it, hates it even more when it's me doing it, hates being a burden. It's a strange kind of intimacy we are forced into. We get to know each other well and much faster than we had planned. We fight over toothpaste and the toilet seat, we bond over keeping our space neat and organised. Sometimes our fights are kind and good-natured, easily ended with a kiss. Sometimes they escalate into shouting matches, slamming doors and angry scowls. I know Andy would leave if he had the strength. Instead, we stare at each other and at times I am the one who runs out of the condo in a huff.

We scare Rusty and surprise him when Andy is still there for breakfast the next morning. Never let the sun go down on your anger, never give the devil an opportunity. It's what I've been thought as a child and Andy remembers those verses, too.


	8. Wishing You Were Awake

Andy is asleep curled up with his back towards my side of the bed. We haven't seen each other in a little over 60 hours and I haven't slept for most of them. We've talked one the phone twice a day, exchanged messages but it's just not the same. I'm not a clingy person, really not, but with him injured … I just feel better when I can see for myself that he is resting and recovering as he should be.

I'm so tired I'm afraid my jaw will become unhinged from all the yawning. My back is aching and all my joints are sore, bone grinding against bone with every movement. My neck is the worst – it's protesting the nights spent in my green chair. I don't even want to think of my feet – I really should keep a pair of flats at the station.

Andy is snoring a little, just enough to make it cute but not yet annoying and I lean in to kiss him, missing his lips. He mumbles but doesn't wake up. I wish I could just slip into bed with him, but I need to wash away the grime and the memories of the past days. Quietly I get undressed and I marvel at how easily it to me comes now. During the first days I actually changed in my closet or the bathroom until Andy offered to close his eyes. He never did, of course, and his appreciative glances do flatter me.

Minutes later I sink into the hot water surrounded by the scent of rose and lavender. Gosh, this feels so good. The only thing to make it better would be if Andy were with me. Not that we've ever taken a bath together, but when I close my eyes I can imagine what it would be like to share this moment with him, to feel his arms around me and let go of the day.


	9. Dead of the Night

Andy wakes me up in the middle of the night by running a finger along my cheek and over my lips. His touch is gentle and so soft, I'm tempted to just lie there and enjoy it. I came home exhausted last night, too tired to talk much and fell asleep while he was still brushing his teeth. It's such a good sign that I can sleep now even when he's not safely in bed next to me. I had actually been planning on waiting up for him, but I must have just drifted off. He is doing so much better now, less pain – or maybe he's just hiding it better? But no, I would notice that. And he's moving around with more ease, too.

"Sweetheart." His voice is husky and his finger touches the tip of my nose. I can't help the smile that spreads over my face. He really can be like a little boy sometimes! "Do you have any idea how cute you are when you scrunch up your nose like that, Sharon O'Dwyer?"

It's five am, well, maybe closer to six judging by the light filtering in through the curtains and my big boy Andy is obviously wide awake. His fingers glide down over the skin on my neck, slip under my shirt, well, technically it is his shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "God, Sharon, maybe it's better you're still asleep …"

For a moment I forget that I was pretending to sleep and my eyes fly open. "Why?"

Andy chuckles, obviously amused.

"Why are you laughing now?" I demand.

"Because it works every single time, it's just your natural curiosity."

I groan, but I can't be angry with him. Not when he's looking at me with so much love and desire giving me that grin that always makes me go weak in the knees.


	10. Pacing

Andy has been pacing the condo ever since we got home. I'm afraid he's going to wear a pattern into my floor, but I'm not saying anything. I only hope he doesn't hurt himself. He's still not walking well and I'm worries he will fall when he becomes tired.

Jack is back.

My no good ex-husband is back. I am certain that there were some good things about him all those years ago – I wouldn't have married him otherwise. Still, all I can see now is the spurned ex-husband, the aggressive addict. He couldn't get to me through his divorce attorney, so now he's out to ruin both mine and Andy's professional credibility. He's filing a lawsuit against my department, Andy and myself, threatening to include all my other detectives, too. It's the Goldmann fiasco all over again, but worse this time because he knows how to get to me. He knows my weak points: my children and the man I love. I saw the hateful looks he's giving Andy – and how hard Andy had to fight to not go and punch Jack.

Ricky has already called to see what is going on. I'm only glad that this time he called to check first before jumping to conclusions. Rusty has been summoned to a court hearing because Jack thinks Andy and I must be discussing cases at home with Rusty there. Jack knows how much the idea of Rusty having to testify hurt me, that's why that was his first move.

And _Andy_. He's coming after Andy and he doesn't even know that yet. I can't bring myself to tell him, I'm so afraid what it will do to his recovery. I could see how aggravated Jack's mere presence makes him, his hands start shaking and his gait becomes unstable like it was immediately after his accident. This is the worst possible moment. He doesn't want to admit it, but Andy's health is still so fragile. His blood pressure spikes and the injury to his back isn't healing quite the way it should be.

I can hear Andy huff impatiently followed by a loud groan. I turn around, wanting to say something to make him feel better, and I'm just in time to see him stumble.


	11. Don't You Dare

My heart seems to miss a beat just remembering those terrible moments. They play on an endless loop before my internal eyes: Andy collapsing into my arms, the small noise when I catch him, his hands grabbing my upper arms hard. But I caught him, I keep telling myself, I caught him before he could injure himself more. The doctor says he was lucky I was there and then he continues that he shouldn't have been walking on his own in the first place. The words spinal injury and permanent damage hang in the air and my stomach contracts into a tight knot.

"Would you like to see him now?" the doctor gently asks and I nod.

I feel like I stood here in that same spot not so long ago, the same fear and insecurity, the same sterile smells and busy noises of the hospital. This time I was there when it happened, I was the one who caught Andy and tried to cushion our fall with my body. Andy is as white and pale as he was then – only the bandage on his forehead is missing. He smiles at me and spreads his arms wide. It's an invitation and a part of me just wants to hurl herself into those waiting arms.

"Come here, sweetheart, let me hold you."

I can't move. I stand rooted to the spot and I look at him. He smiles and I can tell how he's trying to mask the pain.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Sharon."

I shake my head. He has nothing to be sorry. It's Jack who should be sorry. Jack – who is suing me, and Andy and our department.

"Sharon, please?"

I try one foot, then another and step after step I slowly make my way over to him. But at his bedside I stop again. I want nothing more than to be enclosed in his arms, to feel his heartbeat and forget about everything else. Andy sits up, groaning, and reaches for me, the tips of his fingers touching my sleeves. His hand is shaking.

"Don't you dare scare me like that ever again!"


	12. Bruises

I have bruises on my arms from where Andy held onto me, and more on my body from our fall. The doctor tells me to take it easy and orders me to stay home from work for a week. Bruised ribs, but unlike Andy, nothing is broken. I was lucky. It's the very first time I can recall that I readily agree to being put on medical leave - not for me, but because staying home means I can look after Andy myself. His eyes twinkle when I tell him he'll have me as his personal nurse for a few days. I've been hiding the bruises from him making sure to always wear long sleeves and dark colours, which isn't difficult because he likes it when I wear purple.

We've been getting closer again these past few days, our touches venturing into previously unchartered territory. His hands, as big as they are, are so gentle when he runs them over my stomach, slips them underneath my shirt, his touch is barely there and yet so noticeable. I'm so completely relaxed that I forget why I'd been wanting to go back to old-fashioned dating – until Andy's fingers touch that sore spot on my ribs where I hit the armrest of the couch. It's so unexpected and so painful that I groan loudly before I can even stop myself.

The look in his eyes speaks volumes.

Fear. Concern. Hurt. Love. Yes, love. Love that makes me forget how much my side is hurting.

Andy is quick at putting two and two together. "You injured yourself," he states quietly and runs the tip of his finger softly over my cheek. "You got hurt when you caught me, didn't you?"

There is no anger, no reproach in his eyes, just concern and love for me. It's so incredibly intense that I don't ever want to break the connection again and at the same time yearn to turn my head and hide my face into his neck.

"Sweetheart, you should have told me," he whispers and his hands move to unbutton the top button on my blouse, then the next working his way downward. He unbuttons my cuffs and – asking permission with the lift of an eyebrow – slides the blouse off my shoulders. His hiss sounds like he's the one with the bruises and not me.

"God Sharon, I am sorry. I am so very sorry," he stammers.

I shiver a little in the cold air, but mostly I'm feeling really self-conscious. I'm almost naked and the light in the room is so terribly bright. I had hoped for somewhat gentler lightning when he would first see me like this! But I needn't have worried - his eyes immediately catch on the bruises on my upper arms where the dark blue shape of the fingers that grabbed me – his fingers – stands out in sharp contract to my white skin. He held onto my with all his strength. I do remember that grip, like a drowning man would hold onto his lifeline.

"Oh sweetheart," his voice is breaking with emotion and it feels like my heart is breaking, too. None of this is his fault and I'd so much rather have those bruises than see him more seriously hurt.

"You shouldn't have had to do that for me."


	13. Sunday Morning

"Mom?"

Rusty doesn't call me Mom all that often and Andy flashes me a smile. He knows how much I love it.

"Yes, honey?"

It's a beautiful Sunday morning and we're having a late breakfast out on the balcony. The view is great today, and Andy is feeling better, my bruises have faded. It's one of the most normal weekends we've had in a while and I love having both my boys so close. If Ricky and Emily were here, it would be perfect. Well, and Nicole and her family and Andy's son. I have to laugh. That would make it very full.

"I was thinking, after I give my testimony tomorrow, maybe we could all go out together? We haven't done anything in ages."

My boy has grown up. He's talking about giving testimony at court as though it's something he does every day. It's not a criminal trial, but a lot is at stake for the LAPD, for my division and for Andy and myself. Gavin and Andrea have been preparing Rusty, but I can't help to think that he shouldn't have to do this. He shouldn't have to carry the burden of my career on his shoulders.

"That's a great idea, Rusty. One of my friends has recently opened a new restaurant down on the beach." Andy turns to me and raises one eyebrow. "I've been meaning to take you there for ages. Say yes, it'll be fun!"

"Who am I to say no to an evening out with the two of you?" I say chuckling and look into Andy's eyes. It's the first time in weeks that I don't see any sign of pain – just pure joy.


	14. Anger

Jack. He's suing the LAPD, me, my division and he's using a conversation he overheard when he stayed with us a few years ago, accusing me of conduct unbecoming, of being corrupt. He's pulled Rusty back into his role of witness - knowing what it would do to him.

I haven't been this angry in a long time. What am I saying? I'm not angry, I'm furious - absolutely furious. How dare he? How dare he! With a few leading questions, quickly asked while he kept staring at me, he has all but destroyed my career. How could I have ever loved this man? It seems that he has lost the last shred of human decency when we divorced and now he is just a combination of his addictions and the killer instinct that once made him such a promising young lawyer.

I look at my son, his eyes no longer able to meet mine. His shoulders are slumped, his head hanging, Gavin talking to him calmly, telling him none of this is his fault. Thank God for Gavin. I turn to look at the man by my side, his anger only barely concealed. Andy looks like he's about to pounce on Jack and I know how hard it is for him not to shake off my calming hand. "I can't let him do that! I can't let him drag your reputation through the dirt like that – and look at the kid!" He is shaking under my touch, his jaw tensing visibly. And I'm scared. Not just of the legal consequences. His back has only just healed and a fight with Jack ... the doctor's warning still rings clearly in my ears. I tighten my grip on his arm.

"I'm going to punch the asshole in the face!"


	15. All That Counts

Everything I stand for and everything I am is being called into question as my former division is auditing my current division. I know that I didn't do anything wrong, but Jack with his talent at twisting the truth is pulling up witness after witness – and I have left behind many disgruntled officer only too happy to get back at me. Gavin and Andrea are working day and night to defend me and the team is closing ranks around me, but Jack knows me too well.

It's Andy who holds me at night and whispers calming words into my ear, running his fingers through my hair to help me fall asleep. Even in the gentlest of touches I can feel just how upset he is. He wants to speak up on my behalf, but we both know that our personal relationship will only serve to discredit his testimony.

"Let me at least go and beat him up."

I know he's trying to make me laugh, but laughter doesn't come easily these days. "So he can accuse you of police brutality? He's not worth loosing your job over."

"Sharon, you know we'll get through this. The truth will come out, it always does."

There he is, a cheeky smile on his face, eyes sparkling because he's turned my own words back at me. Suddenly he moves forward and pulls me into deep kiss. "I know you won't let me say it, but I feel it anyway. We will get through this, sweetheart, and then we'll go away, just you and me." And just like that, for a moment all worries are forgotten and all that counts is him, and us, and holding each other.


	16. Innocent Until Proven Guilty

It's worse than it ever was – rumours are flying, whispered words behind my back and accusations to my face. Working FID was nothing in comparison to this. For the first time in my entire career, I'm dreading coming to work. It's Andy who is by my side every day. He's on desk duty, and he should still be at home, but he's decided to be by my side. He's my light in these dark days.

Even the Mayor calls me into his office to tell me that while he, personally, trusts me, I am shedding a bad light on the LAPD. He gives me an ultimatum – resign with full pension or be removed. He doesn't mince his words, but then, just before I leave his office, his voice softens. "Sharon, I am so sorry, so very sorry. I wish there was more I could do to protect you, but my hands are tied." Meaning the upcoming campaign for his re-election. His future traded for mine. I just never thought that it would come to this, that I would be the stumbling block for those on the right side of the law. "I wish I could back you on this, Sharon, please understand I can't be seen playing favours." He wouldn't be playing favours, but innocent until proven guilty doesn't seem to hold true in my case.

It's Andy who waits for me outside the Mayor's office and who wraps me in his arms. Andy who makes sure I get home, and eat dinner. Andy who listens to me and who holds me when I finally break down.


	17. The Right Thing

"This is all my fault! I don't you know why you even still want me here, Sharon! You should just get rid of me!"

He's grown a little, he's wearing nicer clothes and his hair is different, but the haunted look in his eyes, the way he holds his shoulders – that's the scared, angry boy I took into my home four years ago. And to see him like this, to hear him say those words breaks my heart. I want to reach out and pull him into my arms, hold him close like I would with Ricky or Emily, but something in his stance stops me.

"Rusty," I say trying to keep my voice strong, "none of this is your fault."

"But it was my testimony." He's wringing his hands and he won't look at me, but at least he's responding to what I'm saying and not shutting me out completely. Then I see his old worn backpack standing beside the door.

"You told the truth, Rusty. You did the right thing."

He shakes his head and finally looks at me. "Then why does it feel so wrong? It can't be right when I hurt you, Sharon!"

Encouraged by the eye contact, I dare to reach out and place my hand on his shoulder. "Jack hurt me, not you. Honey, you had no choice. You did exactly what I would have wanted you to do."

"It would have been so easy though, you know, to say something else. He's twisting your words!"

"He is, Rusty, but don't forget, this is far from over." That's what I keep telling myself. I have spent my life putting my trust into the legal system - and I can't change that now and resign just to save my pension.

"And if you loose your job because of me? You did so much for me - and I pay you back like this!"


	18. By Your Side

"What do _you_ think I should do?"

The question hangs between us – if you can call it that because there really isn't much space between us. It's past two am and we've been in bed for hours holding each other tight. I've been pouring out my heart and Andy has been listening patiently to point after point his eyes never leaving mine.

Rusty. Retirement. Dismissal. Pension. Emily. Ricky. School fees. The condo. Us. And our future. The words we haven't said again since we spoke on the phone when he was being admitted to hospital. Words I so badly want to say, but can't because I can't bind him to me now when I'm about to go down. I wouldn't be fair.

"Before I tell you that, there's something I want you to know. Sharon, I …"

No, not now! I can't hear those words when our, well, _my_ situation is so difficult. I put my finger over Andy's lips, but all he does is to gently suck on my finger and smirk. Gosh, how can he make me feel like that when everything else is so dark?

"No, Andy, now is not the time. I might loose my job or face serious disciplinary consequences. You can't tie your life to mine now."

"Sweetheart, my life is already tied to yours and whether I say it or not won't change the way I feel about you. But you, you need to hear it. Because I won't let you retreat behind your wall again."

"Andy, I'm facing a trial for corruption! Corruption! Being associated with me is only going to do you harm!"

"You're being wrongly accused and I'm not going to turn away from you just because things get a little rough. Sharon, sweetheart, you're my life."

"Andy …" My whole body is shivering and I want nothing more than to burrow more deeply into his embrace and Andy, well, he just seems to know what I feel because he pulls me close, holding me so tightly I can barely breathe.

"You asked me what I thought you should do. I'll be by your side whether you retire now or decide to fight it. I'll be with you regardless of the outcome. But I think we should both consider retirement."

That isn't the answer I was expecting. Retirement? I expected that we'd retire together at some point, but now?

"I know the LAPD doesn't have a mandatory retirement age, but in many other departments I'd already be living off my pension, and you're not that far behind me. I don't know whether I'll ever get cleared for full duty again – and you're facing a dishonourable discharge. We could leave now, and start building our life together, spend time with our children and grandchildren, travel, maybe buy a house somewhere nice."

Here in his arms with my eyes closed I can picture us growing old together, flying to New York to see Emily perform, Christmas parties, Thanksgivings and birthdays spent with our families. I can picture my life at the side of this man so very easily, to make our temporary living arrangement a permanent one, to wake up with him every morning. But I can't just throw away my career, I can't let Jack of all people force me to give up what I've worked so hard for.

"I don't want to be forced into retirement," I whisper into his chest.

"Then we'll fight. Together." His voice is strong and deep. He still hasn't said the words, but I can feel them in the way he kisses me now, in the way he holds me and suddenly they tumble over my lips.

"I love you, Andy."


	19. You'll Go Down

I can't place the annoying sound and my first instinct is to hide my face under my pillow or in this case, under Andy's pillow and go back to sleep. We've been working non-stop for three days and got in late last night – surely even Taylor can't call us back in now. Andy nudges me, his sleepy voice telling me it's my phone. I grasp blindly determined to just shut it off, but something makes me pick up anyway.

"Sha-ron." I sit up, instantly awakened by the familiar, slurring voice.

"Jack." I switch on the light and look at Andy before I hit the loudspeaker button Mike has prepared to automatically record the conversation. He sounds wasted, but I'm hoping he's drunk enough to make a mistake.

"Sha-ron, how's the love life with the new guy? Haha! I saw your new beau with a leggy blonde just last night."

I know that's not true, and I know he's just trying to get to me, but it hurts. Andy takes my free hand in his and brings it to his lips.

"Andy's a lady's man, babe, he likes them young and sexy – not old and shrivelled up."

But Andy is right next to me and shakes his head, giving me reassuring smile, his eyes telling me just how far from the truth Jack is.

"I don't think that's any of your business, Jack."

"Ah, listen to you, Sha-ron. But maybe he likes you, because you're a dirty cop now. Yeah, he'd find that sexy." Jack chuckles to himself and I can hear him take another drink from the bottle. "Who'd have thought, eh? It doesn't matter that you've been such a goody-two-shoes all your life. It doesn't matter that you did nothing wrong. Everybody believes you're a dirty cop – and why? Because of me! Me! The brilliant lawyer. You never thought I could do it! You never believed in me – but I'm going to show you just how brilliant I am. Me, Jackson Raydor!"

I'm forcing myself to swallow my pain and keep edging him on. He's drunk, and he's full of himself, the best conditions for him to make a mistake. "Jack, you sound like all the drinking has finally cost you your sanity."

"Yeah, that's what you'd like to believe, babe. I've been planning to do this for years, but I held back – until you gave me the perfect reason. I would have cheated myself out of half of your pension, but now that we're divorced … this is your end, Sha-ron – you'll go down and I'll win! I'll win - me the brilliant Jackson Raydor!"

"So you confess that you made up a story to destroy me?" Andy's squeezing my hand, hard. This might be the pivotal moment.

"Oh baby, I'll confess anything for you. You thought you were so high and mighty – but I brought you down! Yeah, I brought you down because I know how to make people believe things! One word from me and you go down!"

And then the line goes dead.


	20. Fated Moment

When I walk into the courtroom with Gavin and Andrea, everyone is already there. Andy is here sitting with Rusty, Nicole at his other side, our entire team, my former team from IA, Judge Grove, Judge Richwood, other officers I've worked with over the years, Agent Howard. All of them have come to support me and, I hope, to celebrate with me at the end of the day. How I wish Andy could sit next to me the moment I heard the judge's verdict, the moment my future gets decided. We've submitted the tape of our conversation into evidence and it's been one of the most humiliating moments of my life having to listen to Jack's accusations in the public of a courtroom. My private life dragged out for all to see. But this case has been hard for all of us – and I'm hoping that one final humiliation is what will make Jack's case collapse.

My hands are shaking and I'm pushing them deep into the pockets of my jacket – the one Andy chose for me this morning with just this is mind. He knows me so well. A million things are going through my head as I sit down and wait for the judge to arrive. Gavin is leaning over and patting my arm looking confident. Andy's dark eyes meet mine making me feel safe even though he's much too far away. My heart makes a small leap of joy. He looks good, strong and healthy, he's finally been cleared for full duty just last week. Whatever will happen to my career today, we will have each other and hopefully, many many years together.

Lieutenant Provenza sits next to Andy with a grim expression on his face, a dark cloud of barely concealed anger hovering over Detective Sanchez, Amy looks scared for me, Buzz is visibly nervous without his camera to distance him from the reality around him. Mike Tao sits up straight, glasses perched on his nose, looking expectant. Seeing Rusty is perhaps the hardest. He is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders right now and even though he knows I will always love him and that I don't hold him responsible, he feels guilty. So much hinges on the decision today, not just my future, but that of the people closest to me. I take a deep breath and meet Andy's eyes one more time. He nods, almost imperceptibly.

"The court is in session. Please rise."

I turn towards the bench and face the judge who is holding my fate in her hands.


	21. Dismissed

"… dismissed."

That's the only word I need to hear and everything else fades into the back. I barely hear the collective sigh of relief that goes through the courtroom. Gavin pulls me into a brief embrace and then I turn around. My focus narrows on Rusty covering his face with his hands, Andy's arm wrapped protectively around his shoulders and then he lifts his face and looks at me, tears running down his cheeks.

Andrea's voice is calm and clear, Jack's is loud and aggravated and turns into a scream when the officers move to arrest him. I don't look, but I know the expression on his face and I hear the hateful words directed at me.

People are talking to me, offering me their congratulations, but I stand immobile, my eyes fixed on Andy. Andy, who is talking to Rusty now, nodding before he starts towards the front of the courtroom, towards me. My heart is beating rapidly and it's no longer because of the case. It's the look on his face. And then he is standing right in front of me, so close that I can feel the heat radiating from his body, opening his arms for me to step into them. I stumble and fall against his chest ungracefully, but his arms hold me steady.


	22. Full Duty

"Sharon," I whisper and break our kiss to look into her beautiful eyes. The way she looks at me, so full of love and trust, her eyes dark and intense is making me go weak in the knees. I smile and take her face into my hands - er eyes are sparkling now. I know she loves when I do that and I can hear the little moan she makes in the back of her throat.

"One of those days you'll drive me insane, Andrew Flynn," she grumbles and closes her eyes. Her lips are wet and still slightly parted and I snatch a quick kiss. I'm rewarded by another one of these moans and her arms that pull my impossibly closer.

"I was thinking," I start and I can feel the blush creeping up my cheeks, "I was thinking I could do something about that … soon, if you like, maybe even right now?"

Damn, it's not like I haven't propositioned women before, but never Sharon, never with words, anyway. I'm further past sixty than I care to admit and here I am standing in the semi-darkness of her balcony and I can feel her take a deep breath.

"Andy," she says, her voice is shaking a little and sounds unsure, her eyes wide open now. "Not yet, not before you're fully healed."

"I am," I whisper and push my hands more deeply into her hair, "I'm cleared for full duty – and I _really_ don't want to wait anymore."

The End.


End file.
